In the wake of the tragedy in Isla Vista, the UCSB community has encouraged a week of remembrance and solidarity. Today was to show our Gaucho pride. I am an alumnus from the class of 2007 but moved back to the Santa Barbara area in 2012, just outside of IV off El Colegio. It was weird being back so close to my alma mater and I had mixed feelings about being close to IV now that I was a bit older and less of a party-goer. Such worries were for nothing as we often found ourselves driving or biking(!) into IV for a drink, dinner, and even to yes, party. Isla Visa itself has changed alot just from 2007, but what remained was the feeling that this little bubble made up of thousands of UCSB students among many other residents, was one of endless carefree youth. From freshman to seniors, to alumni and life-long IV residents, it was a place made up of sorority and fraternity houses, shabbily decorated apartments littered with beer cans and mismatched furniture, late-night eateries to satisfy hangovers, and young minds and hearts learning to live on their own for the first time. I made many good choices and probably even more bad ones in Isla Vista, but I don’t regret any of it.
I have felt many things the past few days, ranging from sadness, grief, horror, and disappointment, but what has stayed on my mind the most this past week was my anger at what six young lives were robbed of. These lives were cut short and can no longer continue to make the memories, mark the moments, worry over the mistakes, take the chances, and then look back at it all with fondness and maybe a twinge of regret. They don’t get late nights studying. They don’t get to enjoy a beer after a final. They don’t get to be young and silly. They don’t get to meet first or true loves. They don’t get to finish school arm in arm with their fellow students after years of incredibly hard work. They don’t get to be alumni and share in the pride of a common experience. This is just a fraction of what they get robbed of. The vanished potential and the unfulfilled lives have gotten lost in the mix of what the media wants to showcase.
It’s why there’s been so much pride on my various social feeds for the community and for their fellow Gauchos, past and present. This week of solidarity has been about honoring the memories of those lost and creating hope for a well-loved community. That network has really bonded across social media channels, geography, and time to join in their grief, hope, and camaraderie. I cannot help but feel such sadness because like so many other alumni and current students, there is such incredible fondness for the time we spent growing up in IV, UCSB, and Santa Barbara. There is pride in who we were, what we’ve become, and the communities that helped us get there. My sadness is tied to the joy I felt as someone who was once like the six who were killed and sorrow that these young men and women won’t have the chance to make all the good decisions or mistakes that you should be making in your late teens and early twenties. They’re now people to remember, not people who get to make memories. “It’s unfair” doesn’t even begin to encompass what has happened.
Earlier today a very good friend from UCSB and I were chatting and I couldn’t help but feel that the unsaid undercurrent of our conversation was the need to talk to a fellow alumni. And combined with my feelings of sadness and anger, was that small feeling of gratefulness. Not just for the place and time, but most especially for the people who helped shape the person I am and still continuing to try and be. College does not define any single individual, but I would be underplaying its role in my life if I said it was just four years at school. Many fellow Gauchos are still good friends and if it wasn’t for some freshman roommates who happened to know each other, John and I wouldn’t be together today. So I just want to say thank you to all my fellow classmates and all the Gauchos in the world out there trying to make their mark. It’s just a small ‘thank you’ for being part of my life and teaching me so many different things that still follow me today. We can honor the six by living our lives with dignity, kindness, and a desire to be good.
A special prayer goes out to these six who are making so many of us out there in the world today feel a bit of Gaucho pride:
George Chen
Katherine Breann Coooper
Cheng Yuan Hong
Christopher Ross Michaels-Martinez
Weihan Wang
Veronika Weiss
#gauchostrong
The first day of November officially kicks off National Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo. I had heard about this in grad school and always thought it was too crazy to even attempt. Yet, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of regret at not trying it out and possibly experiencing the thrill of accomplishing 50,000 words in just one month.
joyce familara 